i really dont know why im updating cuz i have absolutly nothing to say.

school was alright.. french is horriable, the stuff were doing got so much harder and we have an oral quiz on it all 2morrow, so i should probably study:-/. I finally passed that algrabra test after 3 attemps, much like the rest of the class. You'd think that Mr. Ingalls would realize hes not teaching us anything when only 4 people pass a test, but of course not. I dont like the guy, hes a horriable teacher. History is more stressful than ever. This is where all my stress comes from. We have a research paper due the 19th and everything has to be perfect, it is mrs. newton. I have to get a 93 or higher this quarter so i dont have to take the final. Yearbook has been okay. I've been keeping busy with senior grid stuff.

I want to go up to Portland Monday night after school to see Howie Day. It's for VH1, some Inside Track thing. You get to watch him preform and meet him. He's my favorite artist right now, and to meet him would be now would be insane. It's free, too. Portland's only an hour away too, and it starts at 6, so i wouldnt be home too late. I love Howie, beyond beliefe. His music is amazing, theres just something about it.

i feel sick, this stuff sucks. Not the perfect timeing either, cuz im already stressed out and now i have to worry about this. My kidney's hurt and I had a kidney infection frosh year, im just scared to get another one. Its so painful, i almost had to get hospitalized. Its the most painful thing i have ever encountered so far in my life. I'm just really nervous becasue i dont want to go through that pain again. Its hurts so bad that I dont want to move.

Well I dont know whats going on 2morrow if anything. Me, Bri, Dan, and maybe Shea were gonna go bowling but im not sure if we are. Bri or Dan.. lemme know whats going on:-/

well i have to study for that damn french thing, burn a CD to fall asleep to tonight, then finish my Algebra homework. <muchlove33 xoxo

its been quite awhile, hasnt it. much excitment going on! lets start with Monday...

i was dreading school, but it turned out to be an okay day. and then.. what i've been anticipating for ever.. the O.A.R. concert:-D:-D:-D it was so much fun, me bri and court were front and center, it was definatly worth the $17. Vaco (Virginia Coalition) was their opening act.. they werent bad and i kinda liked a couple of their songs. Their keyboardest was amazing... and hot:-P The show was amazing, i want to go to another one.

so we got home around 12:30 and i just couldnt sleep.. i was so wired. I didn't get to sleep until 1:30 and i had to wake up for school at 5:30. DAMNIT. Bri and Courtney the lucky bastards didn't have to go to school.. i was definatly jelous.

school wasn't too bad, except i basically fell asleep in all my classes. But there was just a grim feeling all around the school. A kid, well a should-be senior that dropped out, hung himself. I knew him, not personally, but i've seen him around. I felt especially bad for all the YLers, like Jenn, Riely, and Jetty. poor kids, keep your heads up. I felt horriable about it all day. I didn't even know him and I still felt horriable. Its hard when things like that happen so close to you.

Well i came home and took a 2 hour nap. i couldnt sleep last night.. try 4 hours. Thats 7 hours the past 2 days. that's rough:-/

i wasn't really tired today, not during school anyway. Once I came home I was. But i made wallpaper for my comp with lyrics to my favorite songs. I'm living off music now a days. I'm in love with Howie Day, Jason Mraz, O.A.R., Voca, and Gavin DeGraw. The music just seems so soothing. idk why.. i just come home after school and listen to it, i blast it in my empty house and it takes my mind off things, believe it or not. It changes my day from something horriable to something better. My friends to that too. Ever since the o.a.r. concert i've been cheerful, a lot happier. I have friends that i genually care about and that i can trust. I've trusted people in the past and i've gotten hurt, so i don't trust people so much. I've learned my lesson, but my friends are behind me 100%, as I am to them. They've changed my life in so many ways and I am forever in debt to them. Bri, Shea, Jackie, Kelley, Krista, Dan, Court, Jaye, everyone else, ilu guys.

no plans for this weekend.. just maybe bowling Friday night w/ bri and dan and idk if anyone else. hanging out on friday nights is become a weekly thing, huh guys? lol. Bri's going to Dale's funeral.. wish him well for me.

I miss all my college buddies. I miss Dana. I miss talking to him. Hopefully I'll see him or talk to him soon. Same with Matt.. Texas is way too far away!

well.. i'm gonna go download even more music because i don't have enough. I'll burn a CD one of these days..

wow.. im all over the updating thing the past few days..

yesterday was a boring and pointless day. I sat around and did nothing. the normal weekend thing. Of course, for everyone who knows me, me sitting around by myself is never a good thing. I though about a lot of stuff, and for the most part it made me happier. That must be a first.

This morning, on other hand, was horriable. I've come to the conculusion that i don't know any of my friends, not even Bri. People dont tell me things anymore and my closest friends dont even talk to me anymore. I dont what it is, i know people change as they get older and everything, but usually close friends talk about stuff, and i get the raw end of the deal. I don't see how thats fair at all. I feel invisible around people most of the time, which is a big change since everyone used to notice me and talk to me and everything else. I know i've become a lot more independent, but that doesnt mean i dont want to talk to my friends. I'm growing apart for everyone and that upsets me. me and bri dont really talk about stuff anymore like we used to, but we have fun together. Jaye is probably the only person that understands me. Its hard when you go to having so many friends, to not having many at all. Its a lot to deal with. me and shea have drifted apart, i dont really talk to Jackie much anymore and i wish i did, bri's busy with work and everything and i can't blame her, and the only time i talk to krista or anyone is at school. its complete bullshit. If you don't want to be my friend, tell me, dont talk about me behind my back or pretend to be cuz that only makes matters worse.

well im crying now.. yup good way to start my day.

well.. i wrote up an entry yesterday but it got erased by pop up ads and i didnt feel like re-writing it out.

school yesterday was.. idk, ok i guess. Test in French on Monday.. test in Algebra went okay i think. I didnt get to finish the last problem and there were only 15 questions so thats a few points off:-/ i gotta find my calculator, too. History was hell without Jaye and Ashleigh, my sources of enjoyment. But i had Deb and Jake tallied how many times Newton said "ah" or "um". In the first half an hour she had 61. She's out of control. lol. than we watched a movie and she shut up so we wont had a total count of 77.. at the least. Jake may have missed some. I swear, that lady has something wrong with her. She never finishes half of her sentences and she gives us shit to do that we never pass in. We dont get graded on half the stuff we do. Yearbook was alright, i stayed some what busy. I need to call about ads one of these days:-/

yesterday after school i came home.. Brittany gave me a ride. I love her car. It was so cold out and we had to walk to the rec. from the gym.. i was freezing, but her heated seats helped:)

later that night i headed over to Bri's.. we went to the mall to get popcorn and visit Courtney. Court got her license.. congrats hun:) Than we went over to Dan's and watched Scary Movie + Me, Myself, and Irene. Funny movies:) "omg.. a giant q-tips!" :-O

i fell asleep around 11:30.. i talked to Shea a little bit. I wish there was more that I could do for him cuz he doesnt deserve what hes going through. I don't always agree with the dicisions he makes, but im always gonna stick by his side. He's like a brother to me, he knows i love him.

today.. boring.. horriable.. the usual:-/ SSDD....


French = best class of the day.. we got into groups to grade the 4's videos. Yah, i had my own opinion on them, and some of them I really didn't like, yet I was forced to change the grade i wanted to give them so they would pass, when it wasnt only me giving them low scores. I don't know what that was about, but maybe next time I'll actually stick to my grade and stand up for myself. I need to do that more.

Algebra = hell. The tests we took the other day, last week or the week before or when ever it was, don't want to talk about it. The last test grade I got was a 52.. this one was MUCH worse. We have a test 2morrow and i still dont understand anything. Mr. Ingalls doesnt teach us anything, what so ever. I hate it. I hate him. I hate math. I could go on forever.

History = boring. We went to the library and i worked my ass off. I don't think anyone in that class understands how well i want to do and how hard I work. Last year I did horriable, this year I'm doing better. I'm determined to get a good grade on this term paper. Its worth 2 tests grades after all. I'm already stressing out about it and it isnt due for another month. December 9th.. mark your calandars..

Yearbook = worse than History. Mrs. Ridley wasnt there and we had a sub so me and Audra sat there all class and read through old yearbooks. And we made x-mas lists for who were gonna buy presents for. The 10 dollars I have isnt going to be enough for 48 people:-/ Hope some of you dont mind getting cards or cookies or something...

FBLA = embarrasing.. well not for me, today anyway. We had to play "Pilgrim Pictionary" when absolutly nothing we drew had to do with Thanksgiving or Pilgrims what so ever. Not even a turkey! what is that? Well i didnt draw.. luckily. I was not going to, what so ever.

idk whats going on with Shea latley, i dont really get the chance to talk to him anymore because a.) hes never on b.) hes away or c.) its talking to Marinna or something. I mean i'm glad he likes someone and everything, but idk if it was just me but it seemed to take away from our friendship. But i dont know whats going on with him now, hes pretty upset, and i want to talk to him about it but idk if hes refusing to or what. We're not as close as we used to be, at all, and im doing all i can to try to hang out to what we have while it seems like hes not doing a thing and that he doesnt care. Talk to me, Shea. i dont know if its me or not, but it seems as if all my friends havent been as open with me latley. it could just be me..