Wednesday, November 19, 2003
something that rhymes with urple
its been quite awhile, hasnt it. much excitment going on! lets start with Monday...
i was dreading school, but it turned out to be an okay day. and then.. what i've been anticipating for ever.. the O.A.R. concert:-D:-D:-D it was so much fun, me bri and court were front and center, it was definatly worth the $17. Vaco (Virginia Coalition) was their opening act.. they werent bad and i kinda liked a couple of their songs. Their keyboardest was amazing... and hot:-P The show was amazing, i want to go to another one.
so we got home around 12:30 and i just couldnt sleep.. i was so wired. I didn't get to sleep until 1:30 and i had to wake up for school at 5:30. DAMNIT. Bri and Courtney the lucky bastards didn't have to go to school.. i was definatly jelous.
school wasn't too bad, except i basically fell asleep in all my classes. But there was just a grim feeling all around the school. A kid, well a should-be senior that dropped out, hung himself. I knew him, not personally, but i've seen him around. I felt especially bad for all the YLers, like Jenn, Riely, and Jetty. poor kids, keep your heads up. I felt horriable about it all day. I didn't even know him and I still felt horriable. Its hard when things like that happen so close to you.
Well i came home and took a 2 hour nap. i couldnt sleep last night.. try 4 hours. Thats 7 hours the past 2 days. that's rough:-/
i wasn't really tired today, not during school anyway. Once I came home I was. But i made wallpaper for my comp with lyrics to my favorite songs. I'm living off music now a days. I'm in love with Howie Day, Jason Mraz, O.A.R., Voca, and Gavin DeGraw. The music just seems so soothing. idk why.. i just come home after school and listen to it, i blast it in my empty house and it takes my mind off things, believe it or not. It changes my day from something horriable to something better. My friends to that too. Ever since the o.a.r. concert i've been cheerful, a lot happier. I have friends that i genually care about and that i can trust. I've trusted people in the past and i've gotten hurt, so i don't trust people so much. I've learned my lesson, but my friends are behind me 100%, as I am to them. They've changed my life in so many ways and I am forever in debt to them. Bri, Shea, Jackie, Kelley, Krista, Dan, Court, Jaye, everyone else, ilu guys.
no plans for this weekend.. just maybe bowling Friday night w/ bri and dan and idk if anyone else. hanging out on friday nights is become a weekly thing, huh guys? lol. Bri's going to Dale's funeral.. wish him well for me.
I miss all my college buddies. I miss Dana. I miss talking to him. Hopefully I'll see him or talk to him soon. Same with Matt.. Texas is way too far away!
well.. i'm gonna go download even more music because i don't have enough. I'll burn a CD one of these days..
Posted at 6:05:10 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Sunday, November 16, 2003
the quiet things that no one ever knows
wow.. im all over the updating thing the past few days..
the last entry was pointless. I'm fine now. I've just been having a rollercoaster of emotions latley. I was cleaning my room and found old notes from bri and kelley and jaye.. that why i got upset. But i'm okay and i love my friends <33
OAR concert.. 2MORROW! holy shit im excited:-D:-D:-D i prolly wont be updating 2morrow.. but you bet i will Thursday afternoon:-*
the soccer banquet was kinda boring, but i love the ppl so much. Thanks for the scarve ladies:-* and Rusty/Jack/Brenna for the other stuff:) Ali + Bean <imgonnamissyou3
well thats all for now kiddos.. xoxo
Posted at 6:06:18 pm by x1K5E0G4o
i knew what I was feeling.. but what was I thinking?
yesterday was a boring and pointless day. I sat around and did nothing. the normal weekend thing. Of course, for everyone who knows me, me sitting around by myself is never a good thing. I though about a lot of stuff, and for the most part it made me happier. That must be a first.
This morning, on other hand, was horriable. I've come to the conculusion that i don't know any of my friends, not even Bri. People dont tell me things anymore and my closest friends dont even talk to me anymore. I dont what it is, i know people change as they get older and everything, but usually close friends talk about stuff, and i get the raw end of the deal. I don't see how thats fair at all. I feel invisible around people most of the time, which is a big change since everyone used to notice me and talk to me and everything else. I know i've become a lot more independent, but that doesnt mean i dont want to talk to my friends. I'm growing apart for everyone and that upsets me. me and bri dont really talk about stuff anymore like we used to, but we have fun together. Jaye is probably the only person that understands me. Its hard when you go to having so many friends, to not having many at all. Its a lot to deal with. me and shea have drifted apart, i dont really talk to Jackie much anymore and i wish i did, bri's busy with work and everything and i can't blame her, and the only time i talk to krista or anyone is at school. its complete bullshit. If you don't want to be my friend, tell me, dont talk about me behind my back or pretend to be cuz that only makes matters worse.
well im crying now.. yup good way to start my day.
Posted at 1:15:21 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Saturday, November 15, 2003
yah as you can see.. i tried to change my layout and the colors got FUCKED.. so dont mind them:-/
Posted at 2:11:54 pm by x1K5E0G4o
lets re-write an ending that fits instead of a Hollywood Horror..
well.. i wrote up an entry yesterday but it got erased by pop up ads and i didnt feel like re-writing it out.
school yesterday was.. idk, ok i guess. Test in French on Monday.. test in Algebra went okay i think. I didnt get to finish the last problem and there were only 15 questions so thats a few points off:-/ i gotta find my calculator, too. History was hell without Jaye and Ashleigh, my sources of enjoyment. But i had Deb and Jake tallied how many times Newton said "ah" or "um". In the first half an hour she had 61. She's out of control. lol. than we watched a movie and she shut up so we wont had a total count of 77.. at the least. Jake may have missed some. I swear, that lady has something wrong with her. She never finishes half of her sentences and she gives us shit to do that we never pass in. We dont get graded on half the stuff we do. Yearbook was alright, i stayed some what busy. I need to call about ads one of these days:-/
yesterday after school i came home.. Brittany gave me a ride. I love her car. It was so cold out and we had to walk to the rec. from the gym.. i was freezing, but her heated seats helped:)
later that night i headed over to Bri's.. we went to the mall to get popcorn and visit Courtney. Court got her license.. congrats hun:) Than we went over to Dan's and watched Scary Movie + Me, Myself, and Irene. Funny movies:) "omg.. a giant q-tips!" :-O
i fell asleep around 11:30.. i talked to Shea a little bit. I wish there was more that I could do for him cuz he doesnt deserve what hes going through. I don't always agree with the dicisions he makes, but im always gonna stick by his side. He's like a brother to me, he knows i love him.
I miss Jackie:( We dont talk as much anymore and i miss it. I miss all my soccer ladies too, specially Britt, my lover:-*
HAPPY B-DAY KATIE!! ILU!!
Posted at 12:42:39 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Thursday, November 13, 2003
today.. boring.. horriable.. the usual:-/ SSDD....
French = best class of the day.. we got into groups to grade the 4's videos. Yah, i had my own opinion on them, and some of them I really didn't like, yet I was forced to change the grade i wanted to give them so they would pass, when it wasnt only me giving them low scores. I don't know what that was about, but maybe next time I'll actually stick to my grade and stand up for myself. I need to do that more.
Algebra = hell. The tests we took the other day, last week or the week before or when ever it was, don't want to talk about it. The last test grade I got was a 52.. this one was MUCH worse. We have a test 2morrow and i still dont understand anything. Mr. Ingalls doesnt teach us anything, what so ever. I hate it. I hate him. I hate math. I could go on forever.
History = boring. We went to the library and i worked my ass off. I don't think anyone in that class understands how well i want to do and how hard I work. Last year I did horriable, this year I'm doing better. I'm determined to get a good grade on this term paper. Its worth 2 tests grades after all. I'm already stressing out about it and it isnt due for another month. December 9th.. mark your calandars..
Yearbook = worse than History. Mrs. Ridley wasnt there and we had a sub so me and Audra sat there all class and read through old yearbooks. And we made x-mas lists for who were gonna buy presents for. The 10 dollars I have isnt going to be enough for 48 people:-/ Hope some of you dont mind getting cards or cookies or something...
FBLA = embarrasing.. well not for me, today anyway. We had to play "Pilgrim Pictionary" when absolutly nothing we drew had to do with Thanksgiving or Pilgrims what so ever. Not even a turkey! what is that? Well i didnt draw.. luckily. I was not going to, what so ever.
idk whats going on with Shea latley, i dont really get the chance to talk to him anymore because a.) hes never on b.) hes away or c.) its talking to Marinna or something. I mean i'm glad he likes someone and everything, but idk if it was just me but it seemed to take away from our friendship. But i dont know whats going on with him now, hes pretty upset, and i want to talk to him about it but idk if hes refusing to or what. We're not as close as we used to be, at all, and im doing all i can to try to hang out to what we have while it seems like hes not doing a thing and that he doesnt care. Talk to me, Shea. i dont know if its me or not, but it seems as if all my friends havent been as open with me latley. it could just be me..
well since I have that Algebra test that i want to pass 2morrow, im gonna go study with fucking life away:(
Posted at 5:15:35 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
My friends say I'm crazy and I agree but thats ok cuz thats the way I like to be
well tuesday i really didnt do much. I cleaned my room a little bit and did some homework. Pretty much boring, i thought about things, you know, the usual. I went to my mom's that night, just hung out
Today was the first day of school in 4 day, ouch. It dragged by, i cant remember anything from Friday, maybe cuz im stupid. Must be it.
So yah, i dont know whats going on this weekend, i guess movie night w/ bri and dan friday but im not sure yet. we'll see.
well this was pretty pointless of an entry..
Posted at 3:52:38 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Monday, November 10, 2003
its my life, dont you forget it
well today was an alright of a day.
i woke up around 11, spelt another 12 hours. I went over to Kelley's house around 12ish im guessing. We did the routine thing and went down to Bouchers to get some lunch:) we didnt manage to get hit by any mac trucks this time, unfortunatly. That would have been nice with everything thats been going on latley. Then we called Alyssa who was gonna come over but couldnt. So we watched Cruel Intentions. Than we played Battleship, which I won :-P, and watched Jay and Silent Bob strike back. We did a little talking here and there, too. It was a good day, overall:) I <3 Kelley. *SLEDDING AT KELLEY'S HOUSE X-MAS VACA.. LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANT IN!*
things have been really hectic latley.. i need to get out of here. and quick. someone come rescue me!
Posted at 7:01:16 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Sunday, November 09, 2003
shake it like a poloroid picture
well lets see....
lets start out with yesterday night. Kelley had a bonfire and it was sooo much fun, minus the 22 degree weather! So many cool kids there, Jordan and Tyler are hilarious! Good song around the camp fire.. wrestling matches, the lunar eclipse was amazing. I grew a lot closer to people i never know i would, expecially Chris. so many jokes made.. thats not mayonaise! it must be the special sauce.. how can someone mix up licorice and condoms? haha. Alex malested me trying to get me to dance.. cha cha slide.. wresting matching in japanese w/ english dubbed in. singing everything from frank sinarta to 50 cent around the fire after most of the people left. tieing people to the tree.. football.. Kelley dieing, twice! omg this is the best time i've had in awhile. It took my mind off some things which i really needed. I needed to laugh like that and i havent in a long long time. I'm glad i met all these new people and spent time with the people i already know:)
today i slept in til 12.. oh was it so so nice. I went to Philbricks with my dad and bought myself some skis.. we'll their supposed to be my x-mas present. We'll see about that. They're awesome, now me ali and fluff can go and not worry about rides up there and back. me and bri are def. going again this year, i had so much fun last year. Maybe i'll do some more sloth face, we'll see how that goes;)
other than getting skis i've sat around and thought about stuff. the bonfire did take my mind off things, but it also made me think about other things. I don't really want to get into it, but its basically the same as what i've been going through..
I watched Hart's War today.. wasn't so much a war movie w/ tons of action, but i liked it. It reminded me of the old movie Stalag 17. It was about a POW camp in Germany during WWII. Colin Ferrill was in it.. mm hmm. and Bruce Willis. I liked Stalag 17, and watching that movie helped me understand this one a little bit better.
I miss Shea.. and Jackie.. and Dan. I don't really talk to Shea anymore, which sucks cuz hes one of my closest guy friends. And I was gonna spend some of the weekend with Jackie, but she's sick.. poor thing. I usually don't see Dan much, but when me him and bri hang out with always have fun.. and it sucked that he couldnt come to the movies w/ us friday night.
well yah, im gonna go sit and eat and think some more. everyone in french.. cookies will be made for wednesday.. chocholate mousse as soon as possiable:) you guys rock.. glad u liked the food.
Posted at 7:49:08 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Saturday, November 08, 2003
i get a little bit crazy, baby, everytime you call my name
well, im at Bri's right now. shes still sleeping.. i just woke up.
last night we went to eat at Papa Gino's and saw school of rock. it was funny, but unbelieveable long.. 2 hours! haha those kids were hot.. right bri? oh yah.. Dan im sorry you couldnt come..
i got my hair cut last night. I looks nothing like i wanted it to.. and she cut it WAY to short!! I told her an inch at most.. she cut off like 3! and she made it looks like i was living in the 80's.. wtf is this?
well yah im not really doing anything.. shea sorry we didnt come to the ftball game last night:( it was too cold out and bri already didnt feel good. ilu tho:(
well im just gonna wait for Bri to get up now cuz this entry was pretty pointless..
Posted at 9:46:04 am by x1K5E0G4o
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At the end of the day, I'm gonna say what I mean. It's slipping all away away. At the end of out days, we'll escape
did you lose yourself? did you lose health? did you put my memories on the shelf?
Contact Me
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