Saturday, November 15, 2003
yah as you can see.. i tried to change my layout and the colors got FUCKED.. so dont mind them:-/
Posted at 2:11:54 pm by x1K5E0G4o
lets re-write an ending that fits instead of a Hollywood Horror..
well.. i wrote up an entry yesterday but it got erased by pop up ads and i didnt feel like re-writing it out.
school yesterday was.. idk, ok i guess. Test in French on Monday.. test in Algebra went okay i think. I didnt get to finish the last problem and there were only 15 questions so thats a few points off:-/ i gotta find my calculator, too. History was hell without Jaye and Ashleigh, my sources of enjoyment. But i had Deb and Jake tallied how many times Newton said "ah" or "um". In the first half an hour she had 61. She's out of control. lol. than we watched a movie and she shut up so we wont had a total count of 77.. at the least. Jake may have missed some. I swear, that lady has something wrong with her. She never finishes half of her sentences and she gives us shit to do that we never pass in. We dont get graded on half the stuff we do. Yearbook was alright, i stayed some what busy. I need to call about ads one of these days:-/
yesterday after school i came home.. Brittany gave me a ride. I love her car. It was so cold out and we had to walk to the rec. from the gym.. i was freezing, but her heated seats helped:)
later that night i headed over to Bri's.. we went to the mall to get popcorn and visit Courtney. Court got her license.. congrats hun:) Than we went over to Dan's and watched Scary Movie + Me, Myself, and Irene. Funny movies:) "omg.. a giant q-tips!" :-O
i fell asleep around 11:30.. i talked to Shea a little bit. I wish there was more that I could do for him cuz he doesnt deserve what hes going through. I don't always agree with the dicisions he makes, but im always gonna stick by his side. He's like a brother to me, he knows i love him.
I miss Jackie:( We dont talk as much anymore and i miss it. I miss all my soccer ladies too, specially Britt, my lover:-*
HAPPY B-DAY KATIE!! ILU!!
Posted at 12:42:39 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Thursday, November 13, 2003
today.. boring.. horriable.. the usual:-/ SSDD....
French = best class of the day.. we got into groups to grade the 4's videos. Yah, i had my own opinion on them, and some of them I really didn't like, yet I was forced to change the grade i wanted to give them so they would pass, when it wasnt only me giving them low scores. I don't know what that was about, but maybe next time I'll actually stick to my grade and stand up for myself. I need to do that more.
Algebra = hell. The tests we took the other day, last week or the week before or when ever it was, don't want to talk about it. The last test grade I got was a 52.. this one was MUCH worse. We have a test 2morrow and i still dont understand anything. Mr. Ingalls doesnt teach us anything, what so ever. I hate it. I hate him. I hate math. I could go on forever.
History = boring. We went to the library and i worked my ass off. I don't think anyone in that class understands how well i want to do and how hard I work. Last year I did horriable, this year I'm doing better. I'm determined to get a good grade on this term paper. Its worth 2 tests grades after all. I'm already stressing out about it and it isnt due for another month. December 9th.. mark your calandars..
Yearbook = worse than History. Mrs. Ridley wasnt there and we had a sub so me and Audra sat there all class and read through old yearbooks. And we made x-mas lists for who were gonna buy presents for. The 10 dollars I have isnt going to be enough for 48 people:-/ Hope some of you dont mind getting cards or cookies or something...
FBLA = embarrasing.. well not for me, today anyway. We had to play "Pilgrim Pictionary" when absolutly nothing we drew had to do with Thanksgiving or Pilgrims what so ever. Not even a turkey! what is that? Well i didnt draw.. luckily. I was not going to, what so ever.
idk whats going on with Shea latley, i dont really get the chance to talk to him anymore because a.) hes never on b.) hes away or c.) its talking to Marinna or something. I mean i'm glad he likes someone and everything, but idk if it was just me but it seemed to take away from our friendship. But i dont know whats going on with him now, hes pretty upset, and i want to talk to him about it but idk if hes refusing to or what. We're not as close as we used to be, at all, and im doing all i can to try to hang out to what we have while it seems like hes not doing a thing and that he doesnt care. Talk to me, Shea. i dont know if its me or not, but it seems as if all my friends havent been as open with me latley. it could just be me..
well since I have that Algebra test that i want to pass 2morrow, im gonna go study with fucking life away:(
Posted at 5:15:35 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
My friends say I'm crazy and I agree but thats ok cuz thats the way I like to be
well tuesday i really didnt do much. I cleaned my room a little bit and did some homework. Pretty much boring, i thought about things, you know, the usual. I went to my mom's that night, just hung out
Today was the first day of school in 4 day, ouch. It dragged by, i cant remember anything from Friday, maybe cuz im stupid. Must be it.
So yah, i dont know whats going on this weekend, i guess movie night w/ bri and dan friday but im not sure yet. we'll see.
well this was pretty pointless of an entry..
Posted at 3:52:38 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Monday, November 10, 2003
its my life, dont you forget it
well today was an alright of a day.
i woke up around 11, spelt another 12 hours. I went over to Kelley's house around 12ish im guessing. We did the routine thing and went down to Bouchers to get some lunch:) we didnt manage to get hit by any mac trucks this time, unfortunatly. That would have been nice with everything thats been going on latley. Then we called Alyssa who was gonna come over but couldnt. So we watched Cruel Intentions. Than we played Battleship, which I won :-P, and watched Jay and Silent Bob strike back. We did a little talking here and there, too. It was a good day, overall:) I <3 Kelley. *SLEDDING AT KELLEY'S HOUSE X-MAS VACA.. LEMME KNOW IF YOU WANT IN!*
things have been really hectic latley.. i need to get out of here. and quick. someone come rescue me!
Posted at 7:01:16 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Sunday, November 09, 2003
shake it like a poloroid picture
well lets see....
lets start out with yesterday night. Kelley had a bonfire and it was sooo much fun, minus the 22 degree weather! So many cool kids there, Jordan and Tyler are hilarious! Good song around the camp fire.. wrestling matches, the lunar eclipse was amazing. I grew a lot closer to people i never know i would, expecially Chris. so many jokes made.. thats not mayonaise! it must be the special sauce.. how can someone mix up licorice and condoms? haha. Alex malested me trying to get me to dance.. cha cha slide.. wresting matching in japanese w/ english dubbed in. singing everything from frank sinarta to 50 cent around the fire after most of the people left. tieing people to the tree.. football.. Kelley dieing, twice! omg this is the best time i've had in awhile. It took my mind off some things which i really needed. I needed to laugh like that and i havent in a long long time. I'm glad i met all these new people and spent time with the people i already know:)
today i slept in til 12.. oh was it so so nice. I went to Philbricks with my dad and bought myself some skis.. we'll their supposed to be my x-mas present. We'll see about that. They're awesome, now me ali and fluff can go and not worry about rides up there and back. me and bri are def. going again this year, i had so much fun last year. Maybe i'll do some more sloth face, we'll see how that goes;)
other than getting skis i've sat around and thought about stuff. the bonfire did take my mind off things, but it also made me think about other things. I don't really want to get into it, but its basically the same as what i've been going through..
I watched Hart's War today.. wasn't so much a war movie w/ tons of action, but i liked it. It reminded me of the old movie Stalag 17. It was about a POW camp in Germany during WWII. Colin Ferrill was in it.. mm hmm. and Bruce Willis. I liked Stalag 17, and watching that movie helped me understand this one a little bit better.
I miss Shea.. and Jackie.. and Dan. I don't really talk to Shea anymore, which sucks cuz hes one of my closest guy friends. And I was gonna spend some of the weekend with Jackie, but she's sick.. poor thing. I usually don't see Dan much, but when me him and bri hang out with always have fun.. and it sucked that he couldnt come to the movies w/ us friday night.
well yah, im gonna go sit and eat and think some more. everyone in french.. cookies will be made for wednesday.. chocholate mousse as soon as possiable:) you guys rock.. glad u liked the food.
Posted at 7:49:08 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Saturday, November 08, 2003
i get a little bit crazy, baby, everytime you call my name
well, im at Bri's right now. shes still sleeping.. i just woke up.
last night we went to eat at Papa Gino's and saw school of rock. it was funny, but unbelieveable long.. 2 hours! haha those kids were hot.. right bri? oh yah.. Dan im sorry you couldnt come..
i got my hair cut last night. I looks nothing like i wanted it to.. and she cut it WAY to short!! I told her an inch at most.. she cut off like 3! and she made it looks like i was living in the 80's.. wtf is this?
well yah im not really doing anything.. shea sorry we didnt come to the ftball game last night:( it was too cold out and bri already didnt feel good. ilu tho:(
well im just gonna wait for Bri to get up now cuz this entry was pretty pointless..
Posted at 9:46:04 am by x1K5E0G4o
Thursday, November 06, 2003
theres always tomorrow or tomorrow night
well well well.. lets see where i left off. my life has gotten a little bit better, or it did, but i still hate my dad. I went upstairs and packed up all my clothes and shit. my brother's moving out too, but theres more of a reason behind that but i really dont want to talk about it cuz ill start crying. I want out of here so bad, what he did 2night was over the line. He has such a short temper, you can tell were irish.
i feel really guilty about not spending the night at Bri's last night. She thinks it was because of her mom, but it really didnt afflict me that much. It was more of my dad getting pissed at me and bri and not letting me hang out with her again. Idk.. i just felt like she was upset with me and i didnt want that.
I cannot wait for the O.A.R. concert the 17th w/ Bri and Court. It's gonna be awesome, its gonna be good to get my mind off things.
Natalie left just a few mins ago.. we made a bunch of food for french 2morrow.. tons of it. Its gonn abe so good, hopefully i dont forget anything :x
well its 10 and i gotta get some sleep..
Posted at 10:00:30 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
some day ill fly, some day ill sore, someday ill be something more
today wasnt such a bad day. whens the last time u heard me say that? school been getting better slowly, another first. french has been fun, i love the kids in my class, they're fucking awesome. Colin i'm sorry about your cocksaki or whatever it is lol. Vendredi (friday) were cooking crépes! im so extremley excited cuz my crépes come out fucking awesome:-P ask anyone in my class last year, besides Brandmont cuz he almost died:( Sorry Brandmont! Me and Natalie are making chocolate mousse and chocolate cups too, cuz were over acheviers. lol.. une petite fête! I've actually been understanding the algebra for a change, thank god Ingalls is giving us some sort of notes. better than nothing. My test grades are still not very good, my last one was a 59:-/ ouch. But i've done all my homework and i've gotten 100 on almost all of them, so i should be passing. 2morrow Newton is giving us our term paper assigments, which im wicked nervous about. I have absolutly no idea what its on. It had to be 3-4 pages, which i'll have no problem with. She says i'm a good writer, but its just the fact that this is a big grade and it has to be done just right, she can't stop stressing that. Yearbooks been slow. I've finished assignments that are due 2 weeks from now. I just need to call and sell ads. Wont be too too difficult to do.
poor Dan, taking honors biology with Sully. I didnt take honors, and i didnt have Sully, but i'll do what I can to help. Bio sucked pretty bad, good luck with that.
im in love with Howie Day and Jason Mraz. mm hmm.. goood music. and Jamie Oliver is wicked hot.. lol food channel... and he has a british accent which makes me want to melt.
i saw Shea after school today and i got a hug:) it made me feel better. <ilu333
i need this 4 day weekend more than anything. i've been stressed and it'll give me a little bit of a chance to catch up on things. 4 days off from school and 6 days away from Mr. Ingalls.. what could be better?
AND 2MORROWS EARLY RELEASE!! yipee! but were not going to get pizza.. too much other stuff going on with everyone, so if u wanna do sumthin lemme know;)
Posted at 4:05:04 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Monday, November 03, 2003
and you wont feel a thing and you wont recall anything at all
i hate my life.. with a passion. between school, my dad, and my so-called "friends" my world has been flipped upside down. i dont know what to do anymore.
i feel like i can't talk to anyone anymore. Idk, its the little things that people will get mad about so i can't tell them to anyone. So i keep them hidden inside and right now their ready to blow:-/
I know i should keep trying to find happyness, as Shea said, but for the past 3 months i've been depressed and i've tried hard and have nothing to show for it. I have 5 friends, a family i can't stand, and i cry all the time. I can't take this life anymore. I know that once i talk to someone i'll be okay, they'll reassure me of everything, but the next day is a new day. The feelings come back. they always do. I'm so incomplete:(
shea, thanks for trying to cheer me up. You reassure me to not do anything drastic and you're one of the reason i stay here. but you're threats can't make me happy. I appreciate what you do for me, but i can't help but wonder sometimes. It feels like were drifting apart, like were not as close as we have been, and i want that back. i love you, you're like a brother to me, and i dont want to loose you.
bri i appreciate the offer on staying there since my dad and I arent getting along. You know i'd do the same for you, but im sorry for the problems i've caused between you and courtney. I can't help but feel guilty about it. It's my fault.. and i just hope that you two are okay again.
Dan i know we arent the closest of friends, but thanks for trying to cheer me up. You know i'll be here to help you through anything.
Jackie my sweetheart, i love you. thanks for doing all you do, even the little things, to try to get my mind off things. you always know how to make me laugh
Jaye you're one of my closest friends, and i appreciate you caring about me. I'm sorry for anything i've done to piss you off in the past, i know i'm not perfect
i know i may seem happy in school, but im getting tired of hiding from this mask. It's hard to fight back the tears now aday, someday it's just gonna happen and start to flow. And don't continuously ask me whats wrong, it doesnt make things better. You're cheep sympathy doesnt do anything but make me feel even worse for myself. Don't pity me, just move on.
and shea i'm sorry to say, but the depressing music is here to stay
Posted at 6:53:32 pm by x1K5E0G4o
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At the end of the day, I'm gonna say what I mean. It's slipping all away away. At the end of out days, we'll escape
did you lose yourself? did you lose health? did you put my memories on the shelf?
Contact Me
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