its been a long day. nothings really happened, but it just hasnt been my couple of months. I'm losing all

my friends and i dont know why. I guess im just distancing myself from them, only because I don't

want to deal with all their bullshit. Spaulding has way too much drama for me to handle. Don't get me

wrong, i want to be there for my friends, but i always get pulled into the middle of things and I can't

stand it.



I guess Shea isn't mad at me, but things arent going to be the same. yah, Bri likes him, and i don't have

a problem with that at all, im happy for her, but now he doesnt even talk to me. He was one of my best 

friends and now i have no one. He was always one of the 3 people i could tell anything to, now i don't

have that. I love that  kid with all my heart, but i dont know what to do with him sometimes.



I miss Bri more than life itself. I never get to see her anymore and were only growing further and further

apart. Soccers almost over so hopefully i'll be able to spend a lil more time with her, even though she

has to work til 7 almost every day. I don't know what happened. We used to be the best of friends but

ever since this summer, we've only grown more and more distant from each other. I wish there was

something more I could do, but i don't think there is. I know she has her own thing going on, like I have

mine, and theres nothing i can change about that. I'm not mad with her, im not upset, i just miss her. I

wish we could go back to the way we used to be, when we hung out all the time and were the best of

friends.



i didnt get to sleep until 2 last night. My dad stayed up til 11-12 screaming about the red sox and then i

just couldnt sleep. good stuff:-/



well.. this weekend i have no plans, prolly wont hang out with anyone and distance myself even more

than I already have. It's all I seem to do..












Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me
Oh things are gonna happen naturally
Oh taking your advice, I'm looking on the bright side 
And balancing the whole thing

Oh But it often times those words get tangled up in lines
And the bright light turns to night
Oh Until the dawn it brings
A little bird who'll sing about the magic that was you and me

Cause you and I both loved
What you and I spoke of
And others only read of 
Others only dream of the love, 
oh the love that I loved 
la, la, la, la

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages forwards
More words than I had ever heard and I feel so alive

and it's okay if you had go away
oh just remember the telephone, well, they’re workin it both ways
and if I never ever hear it ring
if nothing else I'll think the bells inside 
have finally found you someone else 
and that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you sang