Saturday, January 10, 2004
well i know you are waiting and i know that is it not for me
its 11:00 and im not tired. I hate not being able to sleep at nights.
the Pats are on right now. They digust me and i can't watch them anymore. The damn defense isnt making tackles when they need to and Brady can't make any completed passes. I hope they win, but it isnt looking too promiseing. They need to get in the red zone and get some points on the board. I'm rooting for KC and Philly 2morrow. Philly better kick some GB ass.
soccer 2night sucked. I hate having asthma, it blows. I can't breath in that damn place, so I only played a shift in the second half, so basically only a half. Nikki's having the same troubles, so i know that its not just me. We lost 5-3 (5-4 Shaina? haha). That bitchy goalie can kiss my ass. Its only a game, calm yourself.
I <33 Dashboard Confessional. I'm having a mad downloading spree right now. haha. oh i love how all my friends are two faced bitches who can't say shit to my face. If you don't like me talking about the stuff that makes me happy, fuck you. Theres things you constantly talk about, but you dont see me running behind your back and bitching about it. Seriously, you're how old now? When are you gonna learn to say things to people faces? I hope I got my point across Friday, cuz im not dealing with this anymore. You're fake and you'll get whats coming to you. It's called Karma.
I want to meet new people. I'm sick of sitting at home all the time, i want to go out and hang out with people i wouldnt be expected to. Theres a lot of people in school that i want to hang out with that are nothing like me. I want to get to know people better. everyone better.
Yah, i wanted to go to the battle of the bands last night, so fucking what. I hate how everyones asks me "do you like that type of music" with an attitude. Who cares if I do or dont, you completly missing the point. I'm upset I didn't get to go, but i heard it was a good time for most people. Really wish i could have been there.
Austin City Limits Jan 25th channel 11, 11:00 boys n girls, the loves of my life.. and Pasty:) haha oh yes, too bad I missed most of it 2night though. Only got to see Fa Fa and JOTR of the 6 songs they played. I'll def. be watching (and taping) the first half an hour of this show. Don't want to miss this.
I want to buy a guitar so bad. gonna start saving the little money i have left over for one. Anybody have any ideas where I can get a good one? I know of the music place downtown, dont know if its any good though. someone let me know, please!
gonna go d/l some more Dashboard, maybe some other stuff. Leave me comments
Mood: Bitchy >:O
Music: Coldplay - The Scientist
Posted at 11:10:57 pm by x1K5E0G4o
bend the pieces til they fit
today was an okay day i guess. school was bearable. driving was okay. hung out with Bri which is always fun. finally finished her christmas present. watched 28 Days Later. Its 12:45 and im so tired. i need sleep.
Jan 12.. coming waaay to soon. Sorry if the music i listen to is all i talk about. Sorry its the only thing that i find joy out of. It makes me happy, unlike most of the things in my life. If you don't wanna know, don't ask.
im crushed. but ill be alright. if you don't know, don't ask. i dont wanna have to go through explaining this to every single person i know. Nobody knows, and thats the way i want it to be. Act like nothing ever happened. I've learned to cope with these things, so i'll be okay. please dont worry about me.
shopping 2morrow? idk.. something. I'm gonna go downloaded some more Dashboard and U 2, then go to bed.
Mood: Tired:[
Music: U 2 - Sunday Bloody Sunday
Posted at 12:48:05 am by x1K5E0G4o
Thursday, January 08, 2004
so dont look back there aint nothing left to see once was like you..
i hate my life. can i stress that enough latley? school sucks, history especially with physco mrs. newton giving us another project monday due 2morrow and another paper to write soon. i love how she tells us we dont have any more projects yet gives us more. can't wait til im out of high school. just 1 year and a half left..
i've given up all hope on you. i hope your happy now.
Me and Heather wanna go to the Battle of the Bands 2morrow night, cuz we can. haha. we'll see how that goes. It'll be cool to see people i know on stage, aka Of Empty Words. I'm sure they'll kick ass, anyway. Hopefully we'll be able to go.
i'm sick of the cold already. its only 2 degrees out as we speak. plus windchill. summer needs to come, now. :(
well, i'm saving my money and a guitar will be in my possesions soon i hope. anybody know where to get a good one? oh man, am i excited:) who's gonna teach me to play?
homework to do. tons of homework to do. I'm exhausted and I want to try to go to bed before 11 tonight. so, yah. I'm surprised if you actually just read all of that bullshit..
Mood: Exhausted :[
Music: Josh Ritter - Kathleen
Posted at 6:40:17 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
into the maze enter the medicine handed down
im completly exhausted. everything sucks. I hate my life.
i wish i could tell you everything that goes through my head, but I can't. I wish you had the slightest idea of what i feel, but i guess you'll never find out. I can't help but hide this. I hate feeling like this. I hate it more than anything in the world.
school sucked. driving was boring. DE was long. my life sucks.
Mood: Sad :'(
Music: Rooney - Shakin
Posted at 10:19:29 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
I'm saving pennies for a rainy day
i thought this might be kinda fun:
1) using band names, spell out your name:
Kansas (haha i needed something)
Rufus Wainwright (something i actually listen to!)
Incubus (??)
Steven Kellogg (wow something else i listen to!)
The Thrills (ugh yah, DEF. listen to them. closet? Jackie? haha)
India Arie (i've only heard of her)
Neil Sedaka (man he kicks MAJOR ass. back in the day..)
okay, not as fun as i thought it would be. I needed to have some fun today though. It pretty much sucked, i was having major mood swings and the littlest things were pissing me off. My "friends" suck. Half of them i can't stand anymore. Theres a selected few that i can't get sick of.
I made some plans for the summer. I'm going to prop a tent outside Meadowbrooke and live there all summer. Screw food, I don't need it. Just save money for my tickets to my shows. Me and Jaye = Guster concert. I will be attending as many as humanly possiable. Me and Krista = Howie concert. Trust me, I plan on going to more than one of these too. Hopefully The Thrills will come to Boston, i just wanna hear their hot Irish accents :) I'm obsessed, i know. My obsession with 30 year olds. :-O
i didn't get to drive today. driving 2morrow. and Friday. then Tuesdays and Wednesdays. eh, it'll be over quick enough. Thank goodness Kathy's in my class:)
so yah, this is going to be the busiest month of my life. with DE and Finals coming up. Just cross your fingers i get a 93 or higher in History!
Mood: Happy:)
Music: Rooney - Blueside
Posted at 8:33:24 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Monday, January 05, 2004
touching you. touching me.
today was a really good day for a Monday, let me tell you. School wasn't a very nice change, i enjoyed sitting on my ass, but im glad i got to see everyone again. whether they were happy to see me or not. long story. don't ask.
so we got our History term papers back today. I was freaking out cuz they were supposed to be 3-4 pages long, mine turned out to be 10. ouch. i figured since it was so long she wouldnt be too happy with me. well we got to class and she said no one failed (although 2 did) so i felt okay about that. Thinking a low C. ugh hi. 91. can you say B? wow, so happy. Double test grade right there. We got out tests back from last Tuesday too, which i thought i did horriable on because i didnt study. I didnt even finish the study guide. Hello, 97. I love how i bullshit my way through her essays and get the most points possiable.
I just got back from Driver's Ed. For the first day it wasnt that bad. I'm just happy it finally started. I'm 16, ive been driving since March, bougth time to get my license thanks. My 10 hours for driving and 6 hours for observing are schedualed. 2:30-3:30 observing, 3:30-4:30 driving Tuesdays and Wednesdays. yay for having a life soon!
license = more shows! I wanna see tons more Guster and Howie this summer, i dont care how far away they are. Hopefully they'll come to Meadowbrooke. That would make me happier than you could ever imagine.
dreamt i was dead sleeping in your bed
floated up from the ground and looked down
then finally i could see completley
heard the angel's song
i know what you are
i could never tell
they sang what you are
Mood: Okay :)
Music: The Darkness - I believe in a thing called love
Posted at 7:49:25 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Sunday, January 04, 2004
one things for certian, im insecure, i never knew til someone told me that
its the last day of vay-K. how sad:( i'm watching football on mute and listening to music. this is how i spent my last day of vacation. haha. pathetic, i know. and ate a lot. i think i gained back all the weight i lost. :-/
wise wise words by Jaye Wallingford: love sux
why is it that most guys in Spaulding are dirty, not cute, taken, or complete assholes? seriosuly, i've given up all hope in evern trying to find a boyfriend for the next year and a half. whats the point tho, really? find someone, fall in love, get my heart broken. i dont understand it. I'm glad everyone else found someone, dont think loves looking for me though. Ali and Paul have something so special, i wish i could have something like that. or Kelley and Jeff, even though i've never met him. They seem to comfortable with each other. Damn, im jelous. haha. enough about this though, really. I'm not gonna get myself all depressed, its not worth it. i hate most boys, thats all of them. Theres a few exceptions.
i havent gotten a call on my cell phone yet, im very very disappointed in you guys. tisk tisk. maybe its cuz i havent left my house the past 24 hours, that could be why. I'll be expecting some soon though.
leave me comments cuz i dont get any. I'm not feeling the love guys. come on, atleast make me look cool. haha.
Mood: Pensive :-/
Music: Guster - Perfect
Posted at 10:06:25 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Saturday, January 03, 2004
i believe that lovers should be tied together thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather left there to drown, left there to down in their innocence
today was a pretty good day. I went shopping and spent some Christmas money. yay! i spent 20 on minutes for my new cell and 80 in AE, thats it. I was surprised that i only spent 100 of the 250 i had, plus gift cards. I havent even touched those yet. They didn't have what I needed to finish Bri's present, so it still remains unfinished. sorry hun, soon, i promise! So yah, 80 bucks on a sweater, shirt, and a pair of jeans. God, I really did loose weight while I was sick. I'm a size 2. And the pants i was wearing were baggy and falling off of me all day. ugh, back to annorexic weights again. joy.
soccer started back up again tonight. wow, am I out of shape. ouch. the whole team was pretty winded though, its been 2 months since most of us have even tried to run. I need to start going to the gym or something.
yay drivers ed started monday... finally. After all the little complications I went through, its finally gonna happen. I'll have my license by Feb 11ish. Stay off the roads ;) haha. no im a pretty good driver. I've been driving since March. I'll be ready when the time comes. for God's sake i feel like im ready now. But i have yet to tackle the highway. one of these days on the way to soccer. eek, driving to Hampton means 3 tollbooths. thats the one thing im scared about. i don't wanna pull a Brittany Wallace. haha ilu.
well that sums up my day. school in 2 days. hooray? I kinda wanna go back, see everyone again, and not be so bored. Sucks that I havent been able to go skiing yet though:(
Mood: Exhausted :[
Music: Steven Kellog - When She Leaves
Posted at 8:33:53 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Friday, January 02, 2004
leave tonight and vanish up the shore
alright.. im gonna have to think really hard about what to write.
been sick. havent left the house expect New Years. I went to Bri's, we went to a super fancy resturaunt with her family and her dad spent over 300 dollars on dinner :-O. then we went back to her house and watched a Chris Farrley, best of SNL movie and a movies called Men Seeking Women with Will Ferrill. I kinda drifted off for about 20 minutes or so, but i was awake til midnight pretty much. stayed up til 12:30ish then went and layed down.
my dad's still being an asshole. I came home from Bris and he started bitching at me about who knows what. I want to kill him, seriously, sometimes. can't tell were Irish? Look at him and the temper is everywhere. I don't like having to defend my own feeling against other people when they don't know the situation. Its bullshit and don't tell me I'm wrong if you don't even know whats going on. Sorry hun, but YOUR wrong.
ugh, now im all heated. I'm going shopping tomorrow, finishing up Bri's present so I can finally get it to her and my mom's buying me my new cell phone :) yay. i love her.
i didn't feel that great yesterday, i don't want to get sick again. Really though, it was horriable being curled up in my bed for a week with my dad coming in every 2 seconds asking if I was sick or waking me up to ask my something. God, just let me sleep.
Anyway, enough bitching for me for one day or so. Leave me some comments cuz no one ever does:( i don't feel the love...
Mood: Tired :(
Music: Bright Eyes - A Perfect Sonnet
Posted at 12:48:36 pm by x1K5E0G4o
Monday, December 29, 2003
you'll be a waste of time
aww how i love feeling better. i didnt exactly want to be like that girl who was released from the hospital, said she was feeling better, then was found unconcious the next morning. as long as I'm feeling better though. Over a week of being sick was far too much for me.
I'm so sick of seeing the inside of this house, ive seen too much of it. and i swear to go, I've gotten more sleep the past 6 days than I have the past 6 months.
Bri called me today. It was nice to talk to someone. She's the only one to make any effort to talk to me all vacation. Thanks guys, love you too. ugh, i don't want to complain, so im not going to, but theres cuz a whole lot going on in my mind dealing with my friends. Weathers its feeling left out, being "replaced", whatever. I'm not gonna get into it and just hope that it all goes away.
Mood: Lazy:[
Music: Guster - Two Points For Honesty
Posted at 5:55:55 pm by x1K5E0G4o
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At the end of the day, I'm gonna say what I mean. It's slipping all away away. At the end of out days, we'll escape
did you lose yourself? did you lose health? did you put my memories on the shelf?
Contact Me
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